“upon my return you must not wait” muriel
waiting decades confident we will be reunited she will need me to care for her — love
treat mom like the baby — denise normalizing mom a parent at age 3 spencer worshipping her i igniting arguments for my obstinence — middle child
deity — she has followers and worshippers no time for a husband and demanding children her chosen disciples ask for spiritual guidance clairvoyant wisdom — we ask what’s for dinner and please pass the salt
first contact — i just came back from venus my astral body traveled venusians wear long robes and communicate telepathically barbara and i sat listening we were 13 barbara told her mom she responds NO ONE CAN GO TO VENUS — how can you be so sure?
beautifulborderline — wild shopping sprees violent fights the lighted way magnetic sunshine sincere warmth days holed up in her bedroom sleeping in a chair to keep chakras open commune in topanga canyon channeling the master djual khul conversations with god correcting her name to her past life self — egyptian goddess isis
celestial — i can no longer have physical contact with human beings declared mom i was 15 — divorce
longing — research therapy maturity acceptance empathy admiration respect time love — nowhere to be found
ethereal — the phone rings the voice responds identified her body neighbor complained of smell dental records 30 days postmortem decomposing body stacks of composition notebooks filled line after line page after page book upon book — if i stay awake i will be taken
detachment
there is a journey which i must make;
it goes beyond yon garden gate;
over the meadow and over the lake;
and upon my return you must not wait!
muriel isis, the testament of the light, 1967